LIMERICKS

Algunos limericks de Edward Lear:

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, 'It is just as I feared! -
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'




There was a Young Lady whose bonnet
Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
But she said, 'I don't care!
All the birds in the air
Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!'




There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent bull;
But she seized on a spade,
And called out, 'Who's afraid?'
Which distracted that virulent bull.

Algunos limericks anónimos:

There was a young lady of Riga,
Who went for a ride on a tiger:
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And a smile on the face of the tiger.


There was an old party of Lyme
Who married three wives at one time.
When asked: 'Why the third?'
He replied: 'One's absurd,
And bygamy, sir, is a crime.'


There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan;
When they said it was so,
He replied, 'Yes, I know,
But I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can.'

Un grupo lo forman los limericks intelectuales, mezcla de absurdo y ciencia. Los dos primeros ejemplos son anónimos, el tercero de Ogden Nash:

Relativity

There was a young lady named Bright,
Who travelled much faster than light,
She started one day
In the relative way,
And returned on the previous night.


Mind and Matter

There was a faith-healer of Deal,
Who said, 'Alhtough pain isn't real,
If a sit on a pin
And it punctures my skin,
I dislike waht I fancy I feel.'


Ultimate reality

There was an old man in a trunk,
Who inquired of his wife, 'Am I drunk?'
She replied with regret,
'I'm afraid so, my pet.'
And he answered, 'It's just as I thunk.'

Algunos limericks que escribí:

'A man needs a maid',
Old grandmamma said,
'That can stand
On her hand,
And play with her plaid.'


There was a young creature named Puck,
Who climbed to the bookcase and took
From a tale two pages.
The king said, 'Outrageous,
That Puck has confounded my book!'


There was a small boy from Khartun,
Who constantly hummed the same tune.
The Emperor said,
'Go bring me the head
Of that humming boy from Khartun!'

Read more...

SMILE PLEASE

It was about three years afterwards that one early morning, dressed for school, I came downstairs before anyone else and for some reason looked at the photograph attentively, realising with dismay that I wasn't like it any longer. I remembered the dress she was wearing, so much prettier than anything I had now, but the curls, the dimples surely belonged to somebody else. The eyes were a stranger's eyes. The forefinger of her right hand was raised as if in warning. She had moved after all. Why I didn't know, she wasn't me any longer. It was the first time I was aware of time, change and the longing for the past. I was nine years of age.

*

The only time I went back to Dominica, long afterwards, I was told I must have a guide to visit Geneva.

I thought, 'A guide to Geneva for me? How ridiculous!' However there was a guide, we went quickly by car and he seemed to know exactly where to take me. Where the house had been was an empty space, the Geneva house was burnt down two, or was it three, times. I stared at it trying to remember the house, the garden, the honey-suckle and the jasmine and the tall fern trees.

But there was nothing, nothing. Nothing to look at. Nothing to say. Even the mounting stone had gone.

When we got to the river I bent down and sipped from it. I was very thirsty and perhaps had some vague, superstitious idea that if I drank the water I'd come back. The guide caught my arm and said, 'Don't drink that. It's very dirty now. You'd be ill if you drank it.'

How many times had I drank from that river when I was thirsty? There are supposed to be three hundred and sixty-five rivers in the island, one for every day of the year. Where they all dirty?

Yes, he seemed to think they were all very dirty indeed. 'Very dirty, not like you remember it.'

No, it wasn't as I remembered it.

Fue unos tres años después cuando cierta mañana, temprano, vestida para la escuela, bajé antes que nadie y por alguna razón miré la fotografía atentamente, y advertí consternada que yo ya no era así. Recordaba el vestido que ella llevaba, mucho más bonito que nada de lo que ahora tenía, pero los rizos, los hoyuelos seguramente pertenecían a otra persona. Los ojos eran ojos de una desconocida. El dedo índice de la mano derecha estaba levantado como en advertencia. Después de todo, se había movido. Por qué no lo sabía, ella había dejado de ser yo. Era la primera vez que fui consciente del tiempo, el cambio y la añoranza por el pasado. Tenía nueve años.

*

La única vez que regresé a Dominica, mucho más tarde, me dijeron que debía acompañarme un guía en la visita a Geneva.

Pensé: “¿Un guía en Geneva para mí? ¡Qué ridículo!” No obstante hubo un guía, fuimos rápidamente en coche y parecía saber con exactitud a dónde llevarme. Donde estaba la casa había un espacio vacío. La casa de Geneva se había incendiado dos, o quizá fueran tres, veces. Fijé la mirada tratando de recordar la casa, el jardín, la madreselva y el jazmín y los altos árboles de helecho.

Pero no había nada, nada. Nada que mirar. Nada que decir. Incluso los peldaños de piedra de la entrada habían desaparecido.

Cuando llegamos al río me incliné y bebí de él. Estaba sedienta y quizá tenía la idea inconcreta, supersticiosa de que si bebía el agua regresaría. El guía me cogió del brazo y dijo:

–No beba de ahí. Está muy sucia ahora. Si la bebe, enfermará.

¿Cuántas veces había bebido en ese río cuando tenía sed? Se dice que hay trescientos sesenta y cinco ríos en la isla, uno para cada día del año. ¿Estaban todos sucios?

Sí, le parecía que estaban todos muy sucios de verdad.

–Muy sucios, no como usted lo recuerda.

No, no era como yo lo recordaba.

Jean Rhys, Smile Please
Traducción de Alan

Read more...